TELECOMMUNICATIONS AUDIT!

Telecom Audit and Cost Management
Telecommunications is a large portion of any enterprise expense budget. It is a well known fact that there is a huge amount of wasted money due to suboptimal telecom cost management, which could easily be prevented through various techniques including telecom bill auditing, inventory management, and usage/rate optimization.Telecom AuditAt the core of telecom auditing is software used to store contract data, interface with telecom invoicing systems, perform the auditing function, and report the results.Why Have a Telecom Audit?Telecom services bills can be very complex and it is very easy to miss a billing errorThe process itself will help the enterprise better understand their own telecom service needsMany outsourced telecom audit companies make the process a "no-brainer", with nothing to lose on the part of the enterpriseThe Telecom Audit ProcessPrior to utilizing telecom audit software, all contract information must be put into the system. In addition, leading systems will be able to track equipment owned, leased and used, along with rate plans.Telecom audit software should be able to handle both EDI inputs as well as manual invoicing from telecom companies to enable efficient processing of invoices. Once input into the system, the core function of the software is to audit the telecom bills against contracted rates and tariffs. Exceptions are automatically highlighted in reports, facilitating manual and/or automatic remedy with the billing agency.

Leading telecom audit systems will be able generate a variety of reports including exception reports, inventory reports, status reports, and be able to interface with enterprise ERP systems.How to go about audit?The telecommunications audit begins with gathering the previous months bills for both local and long distance service. If your telephone company provides your Internet service, you will need a copy of this bill also. A collection of bills for three or more months will give a better idea of calling patterns and other necessary information to help in your audit. If the bills don’t list each number individually, one can request the same from the operators at a very nominal cost. An itemized bill will list each telephone number separately along with any related charges.Your next step is to list each telephone number along with the associated costs. If you have several lines, make sure all are in use and what they are used for. If your not sure where each line goes or its use, you can perform a call test. Simply call each unfamiliar number to identify where it is answered. If you get a ring/no answer, try calling at various times during the day until you either get an answer or determine the number is unused at your facility. Document all numbers and locations and make note of any numbers that appear to be unused.Next, look at the type of service you have on each number. If you are making a minimum number of local calls, you might be able to use a basic service where you pay a flat rate plus the nominal per call rate. High use numbers that make local calls should have unlimited service. Sometimes, lines are set up for basic service only to later be used as high usage lines resulting in huge bill appearing at the end of the month.To summarize, you can save money if you look closely at your telephone bills before paying them. If you make changes, be sure to follow through with changing your telephone service. There are some instances where a telephone line was set up on the basic per minute rate and later used as a modem line for Internet access. The person using this Internet access chose to sign on in the morning and off in the late hours of the evening resulting in huge monthly phone bills. These costs are relatively easy to overlook on phone bills that range in the thousands of rupees.FOR MORE RESULTS SCROLL DOWN…
Please read instructions completely
prior to running the audit.
www.tamu-commerce.edu



Get a copy of the software audit program
from CTIS on a floppy disk. This same disk
can audit up to three different computers.Please close all programs prior to running
the software audit.Click the Start button, then click Run.In the open field, type a:\vsawin.exeClick on the OK button
.



In the open field, type a:\vsawin.exeClick on the OK button.When the audit begins, the message at
right will be displayed.During the audit process, the dialogue box
at right will be displayed.



Complete the fields on the User Detail Tab.Inventory #: Complete this field with the
inventory number of the computer. This
number should begin with a 751-. If you

cannot locate this number, please contact
CTIS for further instruction. This is a
mandatory field.User Name: Enter this computer's
primary user's name.Department: Select this computer's
primary user's department. This is a
mandatory field.Phone Number: Enter this computer's
primary user's phone number.Timecard #: Enter this computer's
primary user's Employee ID used by
the Timecard System.



Complete the fields on the Extra Detail Tab.Building: Select the building where this
computer is located. This is a mandatory field.Room: Enter the room where this computer is
located. This is a mandatory field.Click on the Close button.

final step..












When the Visual Audit Pro windows completes,
the message window will close. The audit for
this computer is done.Return the floppy disk to CTIS.











A CHOLESTROL STUDY- WARNING!

















Clinical Studies Confirm up to 42% Plunge in Cholesterol Levels...
Dear Health Conscious Friend,
The Mayo Clinic states, if cholesterol levels get too high..."you may develop fatty deposits in your blood vessels." As a result, these deposits make it hard for blood to flow through your arteries which may create serious health problems such as heart attacks and strokes.
Now
here's the great news...
Over the last few years, several clinical studies uncovered major findings with a natural cholesterol blocker. In fact, these studies show...convincing proof of cholesterol reduction by as much as 42%. Participant's lowered their cholesterol levels by simply taking a supplement from a natural plant substance...called
beta-sitosterol.
Here's a quick sampling of the results. Researchers explained, "addition to the diet of beta sistosterol represents an effective means of improving circulating lipid profiles to reduce risk of coronary heart disease." SOME Men were isolated in a hospital ward and fed 500mg of cholesterol. Then given beta-sitosterol supplements (American Journal of Clinical Nutrition 35, 1982, p. 697-700). This resulted in a 42% decrease in cholesterol absorption in the intestines. The researchers said, " Evidently, the judicious addition of beta sitosterol....will result in a decrease in cholesterol absorption"
You see, the body mistakes the natural substance of beta sitosterol for bad cholesterol and absorbs it instead. The result...
bad cholesterol's quickly eliminated.
Imagine eating your favorite foods while keeping your cholesterol numbers down...
Learn how to unleash the natural and safe
cholesterol lowering powers of beta sitosterol...


MOBILES NO NO NOT ON RIGHT EAR!!! PLS...


HEY THIS IS THE MESSAGE FROM APOLLO HOSPITALS, INDIA.....
ALWAYS TAKE YOUR CALLS ON LEFT EAR..PLACING MOBILES ON RIGHT EAR MAY DAMAGE BRAIN!!!

Everything Indian: Warm Up With Some Delicious Chai

Everything Indian: Warm Up With Some Delicious Chai
www.ruchibhatt.blogspot.com







*In April,



Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.



**Oprah asked her what she thought of ** **growing older.



**And, there on television, she said it was "exciting.



" Regarding bodychanges, she said there were many, occurring every day..



.like her breasts.**They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.**



The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honestwoman, with so much wisdom in her words!



**Maya Angelou said this:**



"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, lifedoes go on, and it will be better tomorrow."



**"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/shehandles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmastree lights."**



"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."**"



I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making alife."



**"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."**



"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt onboth hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.



"**"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, Iusually make the right decision.



"**"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.



"**"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.** **People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.



"**"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."



**"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forgetwhat you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.



"**Please send this to five phenomenal people today.



**If you do, something good will happen: You will boost another person's self-esteem.



**If you don't...the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles!**






**Be Well!** *

CATCH THIS!!

I AM HAPPY

AT LEAST. i have a positive attitude towards my destructive habits, i started out with nothing and has most of it left!!!

At work: I PRETEND TO WORK, THEY PRETEND TO PAY ME!!

I.Q

HOW MEN TASTE I.Q

I.Q IS SOMETHING MEN LOOK IN A GIRL,
.................
....................
..................
..................WHEN HE HAS LOOKED FOR EVERYTHING ELSE...........

BRITNEY SAYS ANGELINA IS FAKE!!











SHE GAVE ME THESE PICS...




BEFORE SURGERY ANGELINA LOOK RAW

AND AFTER SURGERY AS ROCKING AS SHE IS.......








MY ILLUSIONS KILLED ME!!- BRITNEY'S DIARY

The INERTIA OF ILLUSIONS

THE Stylish, spunky and glamorous world of today is the breeding place for illusions….we are so easily impressed by this all….Every Guy wearing a Frank Muller is a dude and any honest girl with chaperons around is a wannababe.
To toget the best and to be with the best’ was such a crave for me that I joined a Rock Band, and soon I was all surrounded by cool dudes dying for my side show.. After one full year, I realized that all that what I was into is hollow, pretentious and artificial, still the Inertia was so overhauling that I accepted living on the edge, thankfully.
You know why? Mmm…… because the pain and heartache of total disillusionment would have killed me! I used to dance salsa with these so called cool dudes and they were thorough Gentleman….. And then they bitch about me...As if I was a Two- Minute Noodles for them and the quality of bitching was staler than what our household females do…
If you are a bad girl, a sad girl, who bites back …they’ll call you mean and can also tag you a ‘Hooker". And if you are a good girl, playing in your own territory ,and roaming in only girls gang…you’re a ‘wannababe’!..
These wannababes wishing to marry whoever they are dating, preferably after the first date., itself!!
How stupid! I never belonged to any of these categories…CHEAP LIFE!!
And when every mess opens up and fall on you realizing you that what you thought of to be interesting and kicking is all shallow…and you again start looking for the real thing…and again an illusion smiles…and again a heartache... as soon as this new one also dissolves off…
And after series of such relationships you don’t think twice before feeling your life worthless…totally not worth living… (Nobody can study books in refrigerator’s bulb. light!)
Hey boy! Life is totally different from the place where fashionistas and megabucks are! Relationships are not about SMS Romances, Big brother sequels or ‘BASIC INSTINCT’. They are just illusions of happiness, falling into what will make you feel like ‘DESTINY’S CHILD’ with all ‘grey’ days.
But again I have no problems with it as many other crapppy things…its human! Not to have enough time to ask yourself, "As what you want out of life"?
You go for a night out in a nice pub. And majority of people who have reached there haven’t come there to party but to bust their stresses…UNDUDES here and there…shouting…C’mon everybody, let’s grooooooove…id’s a paarrrty…."
The loudest mouth, the biggest ideas and an eagerness to please the higher up babes…HIS Boss Sucks, His Job Sucks and His Dad always yelling at Him….
##HAPPY EYEING……NOW, COME BACK---à …. ###
He would never know why he has come here?, what he should do to mend up things at his workplace and whatever people he is with, whether they are friends or just the next cubicle people. Ask him to close his eyes and ask then:
WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS?
When he’ll open his eyes, he will find the Bar empty…and then ask him:
WHY HAS HE COME HERE?
And this time when he’ll open his eyes…HE will not even find himself in the bar. Only half eaten "patiala pegs" with a little of starters will be left on the table. THE PLACE WILL OTHERWISE BE A VACCUMM…
<<<<<<<<<,,,<<<<<<<,>>>>>>>>,,,,,>>>>>
LIFE IS A CURVE, AND EVERY BEND HAS MINIMUM HAPPINESS..BUT THEN EVERY BEND GIVES YOU A NEW DIRECTION…AND INSPITE OF SAYING "WHY ME?" YOU SAY, "TRY ME!".
#####$$$$ BUREAUCRATIC WARPAGE $$$$####3
I remember my lecturer Dr. KAMIL, who during his college days prepared an awesome presentation and seminar on "HOSPITAL STERILIZATION" to impress his professor and kept on buttering Him for he thought that his professor will appreciate and account his efforts for good marks in report card and will help him get renowned , some day! In the next conference, his professor submitted the same presentation stating the seminar, " His own
effort", under his own name…very surely! He was not a fool! The fool was the person who was in the illusion of favors...
If the team is doing something extraordinarily good, the Immediate Boss of yours isn’t gonna help you getting a raise in your salary but will surely inform his Director about the kind of metamorphosis of dedication and hard work, he bought amongst you…
You…need to come out of your illusions…its Healthy…and it’s not easy either…
SUCCESS is a small story…Illusions may take it miles away…
GOT THAT DEAR…
Love you for this … (and for reading me so far…)
So here I welcome all of you to pledge that we will always prefer Mentors over Preachers and Guidance over Favors…and of course practicality ( no matter how bitter it is…) …over tough Illusions..
Love again...

….

THE MYSTERY I GAVE BIRTH TO-BRITNEY'S DIARY

Mystery IS something we create for two major reasons; for one is when we want to act elusive, so that the "engrossed" one should force himself to limits for you and second, for we want the juice back in the association or behaviour.
Gaurav,( a big time, less famous Casanova of our college) once told me, that " A woman’s handbag is a mysterious dungeon. It’s the key to her real self; if you know what’s in her bag you’ll know what’s on her mind!!"
Sheer crap!!
Remembering Gaurav! I tell you, for this guy "less was more". He used to gym religiously he would stoop to anything to show his worked- out body. From wearing vests for college meets to "folding sleeves" & flexing muscles", he would do all.
There is this very hilarious episode that happened with him an year back which left him truly mesmerised..
He was a hosteller in our Modinagar campus, A Delhite totally desperate in this village, where our college was situated,far away from the HIP- HOP life of Delhi. He was in some so called srious only affair with this colleage of mine,SANA. They had a major fight one day. One thing led to another and it became a big fuss….
Sana was really upset. So all we friends pacified her and planned something to bring back the relationship on stands…
As people used to say that I have a sweet voice over the phone, I decided to call and invite Gaurav to meet me up, faking my real identity altogether….
Bye Joe!
Gone are those days, when you can start a conversation with any of these young dudes saying a wrong number,..
Oh! I like your caller tune, or playing missed call…missed calls……,they’re no more effective.
To have takers, you need to prove your genuinity as well as the genuinity of unknowingly landing upon their mobile numbers/……
So, I made a plan. As I was a day scholar and used to shuttle everyday to my college from Delhi, I decided to wait for diwali holidays when he was supposed to come back down to his hometown, Delhi.
That was going to serve three purposes:-
as he was going to get a call from Delhi, he would never suspect any class mate playing prank.
I can talk for long, saving my otherwise S.T.D Bill.
He would be free from daily patient appointments this festival time and could easily catch-up with his ‘mystery’ Girl!
On the destined 22nd of October, Diwali night I send him a text which looked like this..
#SAME TO YOU, DEAR. I M REALLY TOUCHED. XOXO…#
(XOXO…represents hugs (X) and kisses (O), its common in celebrity texts…and I wanted to prove that I am no less)…..
on an occasion like Diwali, you only expect your near and dear ones to greet you, the person would surely turn up to know,
Who is this? How kind?
Same happened! He called up!
Hello!
Hello! Hi! Peter!
Peter! Oh no! not here.,may I know who is that side?
(my voice was sweet enough to tempt him ask this,i.e my name…)
this is Anvesha!- I said..
ya Anvesha! I just got a text from your side …anyways was that for Peter?
Ya! But I thought! This is Peter’s NUMBER, OH! NO, I THINK I HAVE LOST IT.NOW WHAT, OH! JESUS( I PRETENDED TO BE SAD!)
Oh! This is sad! By the way, who is Peter!
(*so you want to know whether this sweet voice is engaged or attached to somebody, some how?)
he is my school time friend! We were chatting last week, I think I’ve pen down some wrong digit in the number he dictated!- I added.
I see! But what are you doing now-a-days..
Actually! I am from Macau.macau! whats that?
It’s a place 8 kms from the city of Hongkong.
Ok! And you are here for?..
As a research associate in RAJIV GANDHI CANCER FOUNDATION….
(Spare me the agony!)
interesting!
Ya! Always Happy Diwali to you…mr….?
Gaurav…DR GAURAV Singh.
Thanks! Same to you! You sound sad! If I could of any help darling! Let me know!
( I wish Sana could here this, from Gaurav!)
(desperate ass!)
surely! Thanks! Nice talking to you- I said!
The pleasure was all mine, sweety….-he said..
From that day onwards, he used to talk to me for two hours on a daily basisand was die eager to meet up.
The fourth day, I called him up!
Hi! I can’t believe this, you called up- he said, as he picked my call
Its ok! But I want to meet you as tomorrow,I have to leave for Mumbai for a scientific meet….
Oh! My pleasure, tell me which place you would love to catch up at!
Err..(he wanted to say a cozy place…I guessed!)
But I cut his statement and said, today evening QBA Lounge, Cannaught Place,……… FINE!
Ya fine!
But there is a clause!
Whats that?- he asked!
I want to give you a gift! Its only for you straight from my heart. Will you accept that?
Oh! (he said with a sigh of relief!),sure! If you think, its for me, I promise I would accept that?so what time baby?
7:30pm, its that ok! With you…
ya ! great!
See ya then!
Ok! Bye!...
(today two years after that incident took place, when I asked him about his experience, he says…
my God! My heart was going ga-ga with all. there were butterflies in my belly and I was smiling every now and then, blushing for God knows what! EVERY 5 Minutes I used to be lost in my illusory world..thinking of nothing?
I really emptied all my wardrobe on my bed calling all my happening girlfriends to ascertain as what dress suites me the best…
Can you believe this, I washed my mirror neat with a piece of old newspaper and liquid detergent to notice even a single flaw on my face….manicure, pedicure and all that ,sometimes , I cant believe..i did that all!!)
I accompanied Sana to QBA Lounge bar, where I would gift her to Gaurav!
Gaurav! Came looking THE BEST of what a METROSEXUAL can do…
And I surprised him saying….hi! Gaurav! What are you doing here…(he was shocked!)
Err..nothing just for a pint of beer and you..he said ..raising an eyebrow..
Nothing much..but I knew you are coming here…
How come?
Somebody told mmmmme!


Who?
A female!
Who female?
She is waiting upstairs for you.
(now that was enough of prank for him).
I escorted him upstairs, where his girlfriend was sitting in her most skimpy outfit!...
Hi! I am Anvesha!- I said, the time he was busy checking Sana…
And he turned back from sana hearing this, and I started giggling!
Oh! …..my………..GOD!- He said laughing!



F**k man, F**k! oh! Myyyyy God!
She loves you! Really! I am gonna gift you SANA and you have to accept her as you promised me…- I said
You are cute Anvesha… he said as he hugged Sana.
And I left the place…(oh! Here I missed my boyfriend big time!)
You’ll not believe but such mysteries not only revive relationships but also leaves a big hint to your partner that YOU CARE. These moments become most treasurable as to explore and surmount something, it extracted the best out of you…YOU AT YOUR VERY BEST!!!!

THE INCORRIGIBLE ME!!!- BRITNEY'S DIARY


I was a great fan of Khushwant Singh, his way of writing, clauses, punctuation everything and there was a habit or say a mishap by default within me that whenever I see a movie or I read a novel, I allow the ‘bhoot’ of one of those characters to be me. Suddenly I start identifying myself to the girl who was stating one of the stories as she was sarcastic, straight & jolly. The next day when the ghost of miss novel character was inside me, I called my boyfriend vikas to tell him a story, a story no better than a class II student would ever dare narrate.
Hi! He said.
Hi dear! What are you doing- I said.
Nothing important, tell me, sounding happy- he asked?
Ya! You know, I have good news! Ijust bought a few novels out of which there is one novel by khushwant singh.
Ok! And… and you know what? once we met during our journey from kanpur to delhi and I asked him to write about he youth of today & he said he will, and you know what?
Ya baby! He has mentioned me in his new novel, I asked him to write about call centre people & this was at the time when I went for my medical counselling.
Oh really, what has he written?
He has written that she was the most wonderful women I have ever seen. Her eyes had a spark, her long hair had a life of their own and she was sitting in front of me there….
But this concept of call centre hadn’t boomed that much in India at that point of time,
Really!
Err…err that was in the year 2001, call centres were there….( Double dialogue….not working)
Ya call centres were there but the BPO boom came just 2 years ago.
What do you want to say…am I lying.
You always are so captious and fault finding for god knows what??( HELP! HELP! Bouncer). tantrum….may work.
No I just wanted to say that, call centres, ie BPO profession was not everybody’s cup of tea, so how can it represent youth…
Ok forget it, now I am not going to tell you about it…. You’ve spoiled my mood…
( Hypocrite me…. Help!!)
What’s that? Can’t we discuss it, I was telling you an observation…
I am so pissed off…
( Low battery… no presence of mind…. Not working…) and I banged the phone.
He called up again and again but because my head was jammed and I wasn’t ready to answer more of his good logic, great iq questions I decided not to pick up the phone & think of chauffeur driven limousines instead.
After a mere trying for 5 minutes he also understood that being quiet is the best bet for the rest of the day.
I was caught… but yaar! Can somebody please tell me why guys can’t just take a lie without an itch. Ok! He got that it was a mere proposition to feel important for a little period of time but he might be thinking that if he is not wrong why is he concealing it.
Since I was pretending to be involuntarily true…how should I let it go.
( Big confusion….love can be tough)
He called up in the evening
Trin…Trin
Hello
Hello! Darling….are you angry!
Huh! No
Oh! God…are you still angry, don’t tell me
Why should I be angry!
Ok! Then complete what you were saying in the afternoon
Nothing….what??
Nothing….hmmm
Tel me na what he wrote about you….
Nothing important
( God will curse you miss rabbit)How long will you keep fighting to win a deal, you know you were lying…( Cut it…Cut it)
Err…He wrote wonderful things like she told me a story and I wrote a whole novel.
Ok! So you should contact him!
Ya! I know( How can I, he will ask who are you??)
I asked a a few of my friends to look for his email in orkut.com or somewhere else may be
Great!so how are you feeling??
It’s a goodie goodie feeling you know!!
I will write a novel on you…
(You concerned & Jealous & Flatterer)
Darling if you feel for it, go ahead
You impressed by him…?
Ya! Because….
Because….
You know what!!
It was such a sweet gesture….
Oh! Did he mention your name
( I can’t say more lies….Hypocrite me!)
No! I told him not to…..
Why??
I know you caught me….don’t embarrass me, nothing working LOW BATTERY!!
Just like that! But I never knew that he would write on that…
Ok!
( I know miss rabbit that you are lying)
Ya!
( When you know it! Say that it’s great & cut it….cut it)
He knew I was lying, I was caught as well, no assorted images, no dialogues & pretentious helped damn!
But hey don’t you find my write up useless after this incident. Its just that my boyfriend’s IQ is a digit greater than mine….otherwise
All this really helps. There are very few people in this world who know about the real you. To the rest of the people-they just know one colour of yours and based on that they give you one adjective. These include all your brothers, sisters, people who made you…YOUR PARENTS, your boyfriend- All the true loving types. They can read your mind and can tell your story. Other than that all these traits of yours can really make you safe at times of SOS emergencies. I would say that every person in this world do crazy things and share such ‘ can’t come out myself’ funny moments.
All these things, not only makes us happy but reflects the constant urge of survival and the constant struggle to be important to everyone, anyways.Nothing thoughtful, these feelings & actions are rooted like super Mario player I,II,III in our heart and using all that blessed up with, we play game of life.
People like Vikas, want to be silent, avoid the MAHABHARTA types & I would tell you there are few like him…
Others are like, you did one wrong I will make you realise two types
Love can be tough, but so is life.
Hey… Hey… let me remind you of the Mohabbatein dialogue.." Yeh mohabbat bhi zindagi ki tarah hoti hai, iske har mod par khushi nahin hoti, har raasta apna nahin hota par jab hum zindagi ka saath nahin chodte to mohabbat ka saath kyon chodein…"
So chai piyo…. Mast jiyo.









PRESENCE OF MIND!!- BRITNEY'S DIARY

Opportunists! All the bloody opportunists of this world possess this trait called presence of mind. To make it easy to understand for you lets imagine a condition, you are in a discotheque & some sexed-up cleavage showing girl is your point of interest & my boy you are hailing the strongest and shortest expression called attraction. When you were hesitating to say I am tempted somebody came near to your check-interest and invited her to the already taught table of his friends for his birthday celebrations. This is called ‘presence of mind’. Presence of mind is sometimes spontaneous as in case of emergency or can be strategical like listening to somebody, laughing at somebody’s poor jokes ,recognising somebody’s dark sides, weak points or putting best foot forwards. This is most basic of human reactions ,sees time, convenience and not your age or marital status. Temptations crop up with arising opportunities thrown up. Remember the tagline of unfaithful; if you had an opportunity, would you? Extramarital affairs, handling two girlfriends or two bosses at a time all requires" presence of mind".
One day when my fucking dumb ass boss wasn’t in his cabin, I decided to look for all the recently visited websites on his computer, I was given the job to take a print-out of a format stored in his PC. As the roaring and enormously vibrating printer used to take 3 minutes for a single bubbled printout, I was given the job. Above all hat schizophrenic dumb ass instructed me customise and preview the age nicely before printing it out as they were left with 5 letterheads only for a 4 page format.
As I was looking for he recently visited websites, cookies in the temporary internet file folder which only contain sites about amateur sex, bikini babes & semi nude calendars all of a sudden he entered in his cabin from he second entrance, I got freezed now, I was going to be fired for this act of mine. All of a sudden the printer started making noises like heated popcorn burst open kernels and I shouted" sir don’t mind please hold the printer, I am sorry it is urgent to send this today and he printer has already eaten one letterhead… I am trying to get this print out finally…
Ok sir( as I closed the windows) I will hold the printer, you give the ctrl+P command.
Thank god! It came fine this time…I will take care of it now sir… thanks sir! ( and he went away). This is what we call presence of mind. Hugh grant even after having gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley wouldn’t have been caught pants down for divinity brown- if he had presence of mind. Unable to surmount this is a blessing which really comes to even dumbest of us all from within sometimes…. At he time of need.
Disgustingly some people fake this as well…..tooo much…..(too longer than it really is…) my friend miss Geetu types…TOTAL FILTH.








A LITTLE HYPOCRITE ME- BRITNEY'S DIARY

Be silent. Be hypocrite.. pretend you are a prince or princess far away from the bullshit and non sense of this world. You have never switched on the TV after 12 at night and you have never heard people swear, no non veg jokes and no 36-24-36 of this world legal fantasies, you are here after 20 years spend in your mother’s womb..
Have you ever witnesses a female sipping coffee with all you guys and turning a ‘not interested to hear that’ and making a can’t get it face to an adult joke. The girl who loves to fiddle with the age long sagas appreciating the effort of her lecturers and the hardships her parents faced and NO LOVE= GOOD GIRL AGENDA..
Yes what do you feel with her.. disgusted…/??Think she is fake..
OK!! Have you ever seen your face in the mirror, when your professor questions you among your classmates as ‘how many hours you spend glued to your mobile phone a day" or when your not seen ever phone friend/internet friend asks about your real name? \what explanations you give to your girlfriend when she asks’ how is that female looking…beautiful isn’t she??
All the mars people say, ya good! But what you have is unbeatable…and I can’t comment because I don’t know her ,for me beauty is from inside and not just good clothes and make up darling? hmm…
One day when my love life was making its 3rd anniversary, I was already seeing a guy for 3 months cute, handsome and rich what else you want.. marriage can’t be there in mind at the age of 21 isn’t it!! should I stop justifying myself …ok.. i wanted to get rid of it but how??
One fortunate day god gave me the opportunity I was looking for!! Get rid of the ‘whatever you say mam’-chocolate guy forever, without carrying any allegations of being unfaithful. He saw me dating at the RODEO Connaught Place, we were so cozy that time, that we can’t e taken for only friends, the best thing my ex-boyfriend(see how ready I am) did was run away from the sight of what he witnessed, I saw him but he thought I never realised him coming to the bar. Love can be a tough game man!!
In the evening he met me, looking more handsome than he really is !!
Again like miss rabbit! I asked what about ending this relationship so suddenly??
Huh! so the culprit is asking questions??(Hey!! You look in my eyes I am rabbit!!)
I don’t know what you are talking about? Culprit !! Yes culprit…you said…
Ya ! I am ending this relationship as now if ill try to hold on, you will cheat on me again! You…( don’t let him speak!!)
What?
RODEOS,I saw that….
What? You…
You guys cuddling in a corner!!
Oh my god! what are you saying Rohit? For God’s sake, I love you…
Shut up! You bitch…
Hey you!! Whatever you saw was your mental disorder and nothing else??
I was a little high with vodka and nothing else!!
And a little fed up with your old love interest as well isn’t it?
What? What?(Hypocrite1Hypocrite)
You bloody….
Come back to your consciousness Mr shallow, it was just a friend, who was trying to help me as I got something in my eyes & I wasn’t able to splash water as unfortunately I was wearing your favourite coloured lenses…you scoundrel!!
Finish it now!!( Cry my love….)
I a getting a bit weak in my knees
I made the biggest mistake of my life loving such a n insecure person like you…idiot…
( and he set myself free from himself-the emotional baggage and let me tell you it worked!!. Really well! he still thinks he shouldn’t have doubted me .
Why can’t people give me a break, I can even do item numbers with such splash of emotions…isn’t it??
To fake something, or to pretend to be something or to show to have higher standards than you really possess is what being silent or hypocrite is all about…
Sometimes silence can really pay you like a million dollar baby or the phantom of the opera. I still remember my sister’s fortunate day when a loaded family came to our house to see my elder sister meghna. She was well educated and nice to look at…only problem was…I will tell u later…
As in today’s world most of the profiles posted on matrimonial websites states half your autobiography, nothing more is usually left. To most of their questions my sister was answering in a low tone or was just smiling and silent and wonder what they got married and are settled in Hong Kong, only if the guy would have heard her English in that Marathi accent before, he would have gone red eyed &messy haired. After marriage when you identify other very good things ,these ingredients of initial attraction like looks ,presentation and accent become easy to neglect. So it worked here….!!
It also helps in love life to be non over indulgent ,normal and not behave like love-crazy lunatic, Be Silent and that requires willpower so I love myself to be silent at times and seek pleasure being hypocrite sometimes.
Hypocrisy is a human trait- and every thing that is human is justified!!
What say?

DOUBLE DIALOGUE

Have you ever heard of what we call as the double dialogue?? No, you might not have…… but we all do so….only just my terminology is a bit outdated.

Double dialogue is something we say and do when whatever we just said allows and signals our mind to be more accurate & precise, to try again or may be when the previous dialogue says…” JUMP OFF ME NOW” or “YOU WILL BE SLIT”. You said, I took a rickshaw from the railway station…. Reaching home your father offered to pay the rickshaw driver and the driver says five rupees sir….hmm…your father murmurs five rupees for fifteen kilometres. And then he turns to you to ask as “why you took this rickshaw from an NGO. Here you say a double dialogue as….errr..err..i mean that I took my first rickshaw from the railway station & the next… one that you are seeing on front of you, from the bus stand…. Nearby…
(You lucky! say thanks for he’s not asking about the railway tickets….)
By this time, basking in he glory of the second satisfactory dialogue, you feel safe for yourself. And you felt that being safe is just an output of mental discipline you always Bathe in….Interesting….isn’t it…
But some rare times this double dialogue doesn’t help.. you know when…Ha..ha..ha.

It’s when the interrogator(most of the times it’s my dad) poses a completely unexpected question in front of you, as by the time you were looking for the best excuses and possible answers he was plucking fatal questions for you by just denationalising your luck. For instance, you are having the most pleasurable non interrupted puff of GOLD FLAKE at about 12 o’clock midnight…your father suddenly enters your room as he can see a red flame dot close to your quilt. He asks what’s that my boy? And as you were lost in the desolating talk you had couple of minutes back with your girlfriend, you say…mmm…mosquito repellent coil flame dad…. nothing else…

He switched on the lights and YOU ARE CAUGHT……

Forget!! What would have happened after wards as we are here to discuss the moments & not their consequences…

So guys, on indirect message here could be don’t let your love life sway off your radar as it could be a setback to your fanzine. But not your mistake…Just because he was your dad it happened… with most other people you aren’t living with for the past 20-30years it works wonders!! Really.
Fine, now I will tell you about the one with me…
You never reached college today and you left home for the same in the morning, isn’t it? My mom said. Now how can you say that?
I called up your college today to leave a message for you but the gatekeeper told me he hasn’t seen you today.
Oh come on mom! Actually sourav and anjali picked me up from the bus stand as they were passing by, it could be just a miss by that bloody gatekeeper… & I nodded my head showing disgust for the heights of suspicion.
But anjali called up in the afternoon to know what happened in the college today as she never left for college…( Googly.. God damn!) err…
Actually mom!( with a sigh) I will tell you he truth but promise me you’ll keep it to yourself… I said holding her hands as if I am going to die after this…ok now! What’s that?? She enquired like a RAW officer.
Mom! See not many people know this that anjali & sourav love each other and today they left early from the college for a movie. There anjali saw a lady exactly same as you and she got scared because you & her mom are such gossip buddies. She was scared that you might tell it to her mother and there will be chaos t her place for nothing ,so just to make you buy the fact that she was at home today, she called you up….she called me up just 5mins back & told me everything, now you for sure aren’t going to tell this to her mom…as you promised.
Why would I? But then why you not kept her statement by saying that anjali wasn’t there with you this morning?? .
Because mom!! I have nothing to hide as there is no fault of mine here and secondly I basically can’t take a lift from sourav if he is alone, I know you don’t like him and you would have scolded me if I would have said this…I said with my eyes as innocent as a rabbit !! .
Fine but just maintain a good distance with such friends of yours, you are there to study not for all these weird things.. got that!
( God bless anjali & sourav…after all what friends are there for!!) and I nodded my head in affirmation mincing my lips…
By Joe! What an escape…really…double dialogue can be about jumping to a new statement or the elaborated explanation of the previous one…like my grandma is very ill..she has got gall bladder stone(oh!)what?
But you told me she expired a long time back…
What! what you calla Naanimaa, a maternal grandmother…
How shallow! you are doubting me…huh!!(SYMPATHY FOLLOWS) OR my grandma is ill… very ill she is being diagnosed of a gall bladder stone??(Bullshit!! You told her one month back that ll the grand ladies have departed already to their door to heaven…)…err…(don’t let her question) say this…

He always says, my world is so lovely with all you around…he doesn’t feel like melting away…err( Now let her question..)Your grandma.. he..what? Oh! I mean grandpa…what you heard it grandma…No No No… she expired one month back I told you na…Hmm…double dialogue works! really…!!













MANIPULATION @ ANYTHING

He had some truly bizarre personal habits…..He used to hit up strip clubs- to pull some seriously stupid stunts and he was so used to all the weird comments his girlfriends used to give him …that is when they find him neck deep in adultery…..Yes Boss..!!, I am talking about my Best Friend, Sachin. The Health Conscious Hog (he used to find this phrase of mine truly Orgasmic..!) with a large range of body building products and lot of chicks on his Speed Dial.
But every time he is around, I feel safe…as if a cat with a hedge-hog. His current girlfriend used to call him ,”toto”, don’t know what it means, he says “tortoise”.
Does that means because you live in a shell??-and I laughed!
No, because its an African Endangered Species…..happy…-he said sarcastically..
Is it….-and I laughed again…
Idiot! Its just a “nick”, sweet, short and easy to pronounce .. snorter…-he said..
Ya! I said, as if sachin is as complicated to pronounce as Archeopteryx..
No brainer! Again.. He shouted…

(can’t understand, How can he call his little thing, ..BRAIN..)

ANYWAYS, Here is a funny incident, that happened with HIM….

My family friend Nitika was a drop dead gorgeous Female, it’s a different thing that in the college competition, I won the peagent and she was the Runner-up..
(if any girl appreciates some other girl, wait to listen to something like this..)
she was four years elder to me but we used to get along pretty well.
That day, she had to come to me to get her younger brother take admission in my dental college. So, as she entered the campus, she called me up and as I ran towards the main gate of my college entrance to escort her, my TAIL (Mr. Sachin) followed me as if this was the best time for him to catch me red handed with my boyfriend.
As he saw Nitika, Mr. Cold became Mr. Sensitive and the resting (not sleeping) shifty disorder woke up.i introduced her to all my friends..
Meet RICHA..,RACHNA..,CHANCHAL, SHWETA…,& ME……….HE SHOUTED Interrupting me…
And he is nobody…..i moved and shrugged off…
Hi! I am Sachin! Sachin verma….i mean DR. SACHIN VERMA…
Hi! Pleased to meet you …-she said..
Meet my friend NITIKA,We are childhood friends…-I said.
Interesting….-he said….
Huh! –I said (not again)
(as I gave him looks as don’t you dare check this friend of mine!)]
As we three were walking in the corridor he was bragging like the most busiest and wisest of all doctors on this earth using words out of breath- Ameloblastoma, Bilateral Ankylosis, Osteomyelitis, Orthognathic Surgery and all….
We were hardly in the III year of our five years Bachelor Degree and he behaved as He is the H.O.D (HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT) of the college.
He kept on outbursting and I showed up all my wricked and dried faces and indicated him to be quiet, thousand of times…but all in vain….he was not ready to SHUT UP!!
He got nothing! Everytime he used to make one brag or the other,she used to look at me with a total grossed-out face. To my Disbelief, he was already on a mission to get this girl into his weird Dating- Cycle…
(he should really give it a thought as why all girls call him a jerk.)
To avoid the upcoming ultra-embarassing moment,I softly submitted,..
Sachin, meet Dr Nitika Gaur BDS, MDS(Oral and Maxillofacial surgery)…






AND the SEIZURES started…in his derrire……(that is the only place in his body where you can expect a little of brain in him)….
the disturbed pooch of mine was ready to get admitted in the “PSHYCO WARD”. He got totally pissed off…..(why does it happen in love…??)
this reminded me of the video I once saw on the ANIMAL PLANET’s “ FUNNIEST ANIMALS”,
While having his food, the dog felt that someone is watching him and he started barking…and then he realized that it was his own tail….
The too cool, very HOT façade seemed to be vanished from his f ace….it was a time of total embarassment down to his knees……
It was me ,who got hold of the situation telling Nitika that he is the topper of our batch and as far as girls are concerned he talks only office logics….(manipulation @ anything).
She said, oh! So he is never casual with gals?? So – Uncool……!!!!
No, not like that but he just had a recent breakoff which fed in his mind that you should learn and earn a person before being casual..
(look how hard I am trying for that Hooker!)
my tongue would turn every now and then praising him, his sincerity, honesty and all that he is miles away from…
(my mind shouted in my cute ears-he’s scheming to get laid all the time, all females and that’s it!!!)
what are you thinking dear?- she asked!
Nothing! I am a little too concerned for him!!
Ya! I can see that….(with a pause ,she said)…..,and for a good reason too, he is your friend right!!
Only friend!!??- she interrogated..

(My jaws would have dropped to this…..,if my mind would not have been cursing me for saying shockingly good about that loose-ass.
You are talking of a relationship??>-I am already suffering one….his bizarre hygiene habits to two –timing tricks is filthy enough, not to SNIFF Love in him….Idiot!)
Oh! Hi sachin! She said- as she saw him coming!....
Hi! He said…
And there came Aunty and Uncle to take her away! Thank God! No more manipulations would be required now.
Bye sachin, Bye Dear! – she waved!
Bye! We two said in chorus….
I still remember my pooch’s statement when he said that “you know Buddy”! I always pretend that there is this ex who hurted me so bad, its difficult for me to get involved and this sentence is a double- edged sword for one, it makes me bond with any woman, since most of them have this nurturing, motherly side to them. Secondly, it helps me avoid relationships without sounding like a complete jerk( he thinks he is still partial!, confidence man!), this trick works like magic everytime….NASTY!!
Manipulation- vacations are ripe for this trait. Like when your hot woman asks about your whereabouts, you say,” well I shuttle b/w two cities ,I work on a project basis” (lesser chances of her tracking you down..)Vacations are the best time to wear clothes I would never have worn, adopt a new accent or anything that excites me…it’s the perfect way to figure out what works and what not..As my pooch is very handy in this too…he says, wild woman love skinheads..
Ultra-feminine love conventionally dressed men,
And bright shirts don’t work for anyone….
And as you can appreciate the fact that as a Big Weirdo, he is a total sc***d ass..- possessing every license under the head MANIPULATION @ ANYTHING!....
….
….
….LEAVE IT!

BRITNEY'S DIARY (EXCLUSIVE)

A VERSATILE PERFORMER, a proud mother, a glamorous female with 666 prejiduce -they all are the synonym of my name- BRITNEY..
I M SMILING but my diaries are a real peek into my life which was always a dark bubble.
I met Justin during my struggling days and knew him since then..He used to took me out for dinner,then for cheering the RUGBY TEAM and we would party all night!!! Soon I found myself so fond of him that i quietly submitted myself to Him.....Everything was going rock sturdy until one day when He left me high and dry because I objected his Doping habits..I was so fed up of wathching Him crawling on the floor and laughing and beating me for no reason!!
He never thought that He should discuss issues and when I myself initiated He shrugged off saying.."YOU ARE TOO EMOTIONAL TO TALK TO BRITS!!"
BUT the reason was something else..unfortunately he was also a part of that prodigal and hollow society where every relationship cooks up to serve the recepient as a TWO-MINUTE NOODLES and then postscripted as a treasured memory..

sitting among His things, Iyearned for Him back. I shut myself away from the pitiful glances and prying eyes for a while and I slept..after rubbing a little liniment on my forehead..

A WHOLE WORLD WALKS WITH YOU, OR YOU STAGNATE AND THIS WORLD WILL WALK YOU OVER....

..................KEEPING MY CHIN UP HELPED ME AVOIDING LOOKING AT MY OWN STATURE...I AM BAD!!! I KNOW!!!...BUT THIS WORLD IS TOO BAD FOR INNOCENCE TO SURVIVE..SO SAY NOTHING, JUST LISTEN!!


BECAUSE WHEN WORDS FAIL...
MUSIC STARTS!!


(*IF U ARE MISSING BRITNEY..CLICK ON ANU ADD ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE..AND SHE WILL BE REPORTED BY YOUR I.P.O ADDRESS..WHO KNOWS YOU MIGHT IMPRESS HER WITH YOUR FREQUENCY OF VISITS AND YOU LAND UP IN A DATE WITH HER.....)

FAKE "the agitation of your Mind"

FAKE "the agitation of your Mind"

Sense of "I can", is all what is required to fake an emotion. It’s when you want to fake in front of the second person that you’re too sensitive to take whatever…. Or when you want to elicit that you’re ashamed (not really!) and you will not repeat this mess again (probably from the next weekend!)...
It’s when you want to buck the trend of yelling and shouting and want to emerge as a poised person... (Look, you want to remain steady in the JOB after all, Right!!)
It’s simple!
If it’s WORTH DOING, IT’S WORTH OVERDOING!!
It’s the best medium of joy for us, the most liberating!!
Not only you come out of a bloody bullshit safely but your sense of self is also boosted…ha…ha…ha…
You think it’s not done yet! Dear!!
People fake an orgasm, even a relationship, can’t we just fake an emotion!
...it helps you develop into a complete person (but for that you should be passionate about that, like me……..).
Forget it! I am a little passionately preoccupied with it!
But as far as I am concerned, it makes me stronger and makes life’s challenges look that much simpler to me... (All Male Chauvinists are welcome here to connect this trait of mine to Feminists…as far as you are happy with it, you will continue reading…..makes bones...!)
Although Tears are an answer to most of the "I WILL DISTURB YOU" Questions of your Boss, the HOT SEAT of KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI- Daily soap expects a little more to wisdom.
As you seem to be pretty interested in my Autobiography, you should know a term called "Emotional Quotient", to continue with my thought process and for enriching the experience of knowing and understanding of this human trait... Whenever, you feel a gush of sadness and disgust, don’t let your emotional outlet go open-
Make faces like the always happy CLOWNS….HAPPY IN PRESENT SADHUS & WALK WITH AN ONGOING SMILE PAINTED ON YOUR FACE…
(FOR transferring real emotions- write abuses and harsh words for your remanding officer in a deeply emboweled form)…like…
Just one more look and I’ll be the worst person on earth, you understand, you bloody mad cut snake!!!
Say a word more and I’ll make your neck go snap, you egg of a lizard!!)
But don’t forget to tear and dispose this paper, the world is a little oversensitive to handle TRUTHS…
EVEN IN THE YOUNG YEARS OF MY LIFE ,I USED TO BE THIS COUCH POTATO, CHAI-MENAIC, EXERCISE-PHOBE kind of person ,my mother was totally pissed off with…,so she decided to get me enrolled for the Tai Chi classes for getting my life into shape.
Oh! Damn, attending these classes used to give me a feeling of a Feminist quietly turning into a Masochist…..-with her abs too tender to touch and legs too stiff to squat…
Then, one day! I heard of Swami Subramanian visiting my nearby friend’s house as a MEDITATION GURU... I spread down the same curd in front of my mom telling her that the Tai Chi classes are not working with my fabs……
My mom accompanied me to my friend’s house for my first class and after one hour of sitting with my both legs folded on the floor...(Easy for a person like me who used to spend hours on the pot everyday, thanks to my bowel movements), he asked me, HOW I FELT??###
OH! I OPENED MY EYES WITH SUCH A HOPE AS IF I AM JUST BORN AFTER SUCH BLISSFUL YEARS OF Ignorance...
As if there is this bright and evident Halo over my head signifying how holy I am feeling from within. I made half-open, half-closed "Noorjahan" eyes and smiled with contentment and relief..
Oh! Mom, he’s great!!- I said as I hugged Geetanjali for the Idea….
My mom was a little doubtful about my overreaction but my case of defense was strong enough to face any Prosecution…from that day onwards I started helping my pets (teaching them not to shit around!), help mom fold clothes and for household chores, watering plants and all……so as to make sure that MEDITATION is working for me…nuts!
It helped me loose weight and what else do you want to earn out of just faking an unworthy emotion…..^^^
It may not be the fastest but an effective way of toning up…see…
So, dear! You can keep on faking emotions as long as you are sure that it’ll be perceived in a healthy way…!!
Fake a smile to let an otherwise obnoxious loaded one know, you are comfortable with him;
Fake a touch to master the art of seduction from that otherwise SICK Casanova, or fake the discomfort to show (when you learn/realize) even you ,yourself don’t like the "mascara- smeared " face of yours….if he says so…..
Fake it! Fake it! Fake it!
Fake it! With both of your hands up!
IT SHOWS THAT YOU ARE SO COOKED UP IN ADVANCE THAT YOU DON’T WANT IT TO SIMPLY LET GO…………………………
###......................................###..................................###....................................
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SELF- ACTUALISATION

SELF- ACTUALISATION


My friend advised me that the end of your story shouldn’t be abrupt; the reader should realize that He is ready to read the END now. Well, I said, ‘when he will find that only a few pages are left to turn now, my reader will himself realize that its time for the MORAL. Like most of the books end without giving you a taste of self- realization, it’s just a try to write something off the beat…
So here goes….
In my teen age, I used to be like every other girl, changing nail paints to match my dress, bunking classes to catch a latest Movie, faking friend’s Birthday for late nights and spending hours in a parlor to look like a real hottie.
Also shopping down through all my pocket money and still have nothing good to wear on parties….
And ONE NIGHT changed it all………………….
There was this discotheque cum Bar at the 36, Milestone, Gurgaon, where we hotties used to leave house for late at night. We used to leave home wearing just a pair of Jeans and T-shirt (but an item dress inside…I tell you…!)
(You can’t change dress on the way right! And I was not allowed to wear such dresses by my family…so it was the best way out! Remove your jeans and shirt and join the party with the item- dress (door bitch will be impressed!) and wear it again over this dress to be safe at home…simple…)
After having a good time (I was a little high with Vodka), I came out of that place with my friends and I saw a five year old girl standing outside. Wearing a white glittery lace frock and a white lace ribbon in her hair, she was looking so cute…..!
(As I have an inclination for kids, I walked towards her... (No wonders, my dad calls my room "an Archies Gallery")…
HI! I said squatting in front of her….
(she was a blonde and her pink tongue would come out every now and then to lick her ice-cream).
Hello! She said and smiled!
[{(*we dentists can tell age looking at the patient’s teeth, really...)}]
And she held my hand and said, I want to talk to you.
I turned towards her in surprise and smiled……About?-I asked.
As I was about to ask her the topic, my friend Mita came out to say, Hey! You, watch that Bitch in that hip hugging lingerie look alike dress!! And, the way she is clinging to guys….bitch!!
You call that girl a bitch only because you are wearing a dress…a little more till your knees….the girl with the ice- cream said!!
I looked at her again in surprise…….
Ok! Leave that, what stone are you wearing mam- she asked?
H…h…hm…Oh! This is a very precious stone! A Diamond! - I said.
How can a white stone be precious! Is it more precious than my sandals, she said pointing towards her red strap sandals……
Ha ha…ha…I laughed and I kissed her for her innocence….
She continued," mam, how much you earn from this precious stone, everyday?? How many bucks??
Now! That was again cute!
Nothing! I said. People make bucks out of it when I pay them to protect this stone from getting stolen. That is my watchman Bahadur and two dogs ROCKSY and RUSTAM. - I added!
Hi…hi… she smiled and said…..how stupid! Something that is expensive to buy or even difficult to be purchased, doesn’t makes it precious….at all!, Mam!
What? - I said in astonishment.
(Now, this is not the sense you expect from a five year old kid!!)
Ya! Do you have a Car! - She added.
Yes! - I said!
Ok! Can you drop me home! - She asked!
Sure! - I said!
(such a cute baby asking for a lift- who can say ‘NO’, and now I was impressed so much with her sensibility, that I really wanted to shake hands with her fortunate parents!)
Fine! – She said as she jumped in my car on the seat adjacent to me…
{I started driving my car…zzzzzzz...00000...ooooom………….}
Close to one small hut, she asked me to stop the car…
I held her hands in mine as she knocked at the door, the area was full of slum clusters…..A woman came out to open the door. By her Gait, I was able to judge that she was blind!
She asked me to squat as there was nothing to sit on... ,Inside that hut.
The baby doll with her ice-cream now finished…looked at me and whispered in my ears,
"They have the most precious stone, you would have never seen".
And I sucked my lips and raised my eyebrows in appreciation!
She took me inside and there I saw a "Grinding Stone", mounted to make a grinding wheel...
Pointing towards it she said, "You wasted a lot of money on the useless stone you call "precious" and that stone earns you nothing but is forcing you to shell out more for its look-after, everyday.
But this stone, gives a family of four, All blinds food and a living.
WHICH STONE YOU NOW THINK IS PRECIOUS? - She looked at me!
I closed my eyes for a second and when I opened my eyes, my friend was shaking me, saying "its 11 pm now, my mother will screw my happiness, lets Drive Home now"………………………………….
Hummmmmmmm………I said and looked here and there for the girl but she was no- where………..
We reached home and whatever was the GIST of all the things and actions I thought about and pondered over all night with my Bed making fun of my breaking back, I am writing here for you in short………
There is a task for every soul in this world which is there in the box called "Inner – Conscience" inside our Heart. (Like clue in the Amazing Race Asia.)
Whatever comes in path of our Inner- Conscience is bad for us and whatever doesn’t is fair. And that is how we feel for an act respectively.
There is no job or action like GOOD or BAD, Fair or Povert, Everything is relative to each of us.
For us all, Our Ideals are different, So If nothing is ideal or Universal, everything is relative. Whatever I find bad, may be good for you or vice- versa.
So, there is no winner and no looser...- It’s all HUMAN!

I would welcome all of you to accept that we are all humans with flaws, not to blame each other.
Today, I have taken the responsibility of food and schooling for six children as since now my pocket money allows only this much...
That’s how I fed my ’Inner- Conscience’.
And I would tell you an interesting fact about the children I am looking after……………..
Guess ………
They’re all like me, .Bunking classes for Movies most of the times………………………..
……………..
……………
….cute!! Isn’t it?
(NOT FOR LEGAL PURPOSES)

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WHAT HAPPENS AFTER DEATH...

HOW important is one life? Why we experience the weirdest dejavu of all times? What happens after death?
Parwati Maasi was in her 40s when she had to undergo a surgery called hysterectomy. She was unconscious and we were all praying for her as Doctors said that the infection inside the uterus is spreading on an exponential rate. It was going to be a tough surgery… SERIOUS ONE!
A SUCCESS!!!
BUT WHAT SHE SAID AFTER THE SURGERY WAS ENOUGH TO RAISE GOOSEBUMPS!
She said that she was sitting on the couch during her operation and could see her body being dissected on the table. She recognized all the doctors who operated her. She told us about a baby wrapped in a pink towel in the room adjacent to her as she went there when she got bored watching her own surgery and moved out of the operation theatre same night.
She enquired about the watchman with moustaches outside the operation theatre that night. Above all she identified scalpels she had never seen before and also which doctor was holding what!
There is a big deal here friend!
At night, she was admitted into the O.T at around 9’o clock and by 10’ o clock she was lying there fully unconscious as per records.
There was an emergency delivery at night in the adjacent room and the mother left with the baby that night only.
The watchman was an old man when she was admitted, shift change bought a sardar to duty at 12’0 clock midnight…surprisingly the shift was again already changed till the time PAARWATI MAASI GAINED CONCIOUSNESS AGAIN..
"SUKSHAMA SHARIR YATRA"-………………
My Punditji said to this Incident in accordance with HINDU MYTHOLOGY!!!!

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